| i dont feel like posting vacation pictures so i will just post pictures from tonight.
i make silly faces in the mirror at the movies.
then me &andrea ditched gil &isabella at the movies &walked around...
taylor &karen are silly.
ladies can be pimps too.
andrea looks like an old lady...
then we walked to the beach.
....
we found these lookouts at the beach.
we found "treasure".
i like plastic dolphins....alot.
i also like too pee in urinals...
isabella likes to lick urinals.
look at dem hoes.
my friends are boring....
like her hair...? yea i cut it bitch.
shyea i wear glasses, stfu.
|
| |
| k. so being that my best friend is having sex right now makes me extremely lonely/undeserving.
i shall post pictures from vacation later. i dont feel like it right now. |
| |
| new york. tomorrow.
bye florida, i will be back next wednesday. |
| |
| i was looking at myspaces from kids that went to JHOP.
&i realized how superficial everyone was there, all people care about is themselves. its terrible, but i hated so many people at that school. im glad im out. for good. even though most are going to st.pete next year. i dont want another dramatic year.
theres just always something going on...especially with me. i now have anxiety &panic attacks daily. my mom wants me to talk to another counselor but i hate them &it will be my third one.
this weekend was one of the worst at my dads..im starting to figure out my dad, i never liked him &i dont think i ever will. hes the reason i have so many problems, hes probally the reason i have depression. last night i told him how i felt..i basically broke down with tears down my face &screaming at the top of my lungs so someone in that house could hear me out. no one cares for me there. its pathetic how my father is such a terrible person &he doesnt even care whether or not he sees his only child go through so much shit.
he has to take everything out on me because my mom &him are going through a lawsuit. so im stuck in the middle with everything, its always been that way. sometimes my mom even blames me for everything. its just really hard because i basically have no one that i can rely on. im on my own in this one &its hard, im far too young &immature to deal with this. im only a fourteen year old girl. i cant grow up in an instant.
my life has basically been shit. i used to be so happy, so satisfied with myself &everyone, satisfied with life. even though that was nine years ago. i mean i used to cut myself on a daily basis...i cried myself to sleep every night. it was awful.
friday my dad wanted me to consider living with him. i never could. just because he drives a bmw &has money up to his eyeballs doesnt mean a thing. hes never home, hes always on buisiness, he lives in a different city from my mom...which is a two hour drive. i go crazy spending 3 days there. &my stepbrother, my dad treats him like royalty. i guess because my dad always wanted a boy...
im just so fucked up &have so many problems because of my selfish father. hes never been there for me. he had an affair with my mother when they were together. he basically doesnt care. he never will.
this is byfar the longest post i have ever typed. |
| |
